Wednesday, May 29, 2013

a LOVE letter.

I didn't intend to LOVE 
someone this much.

I know that sounds weird, but it's true. 

I was always afraid of LOVE. 
It didn't seem like it would last. 
It didn't seem like it was really real.
Based on what I'd seen, 
LOVE seemed disposable.

Being in LOVE was being vulnerable.
Being in LOVE meant, you could be left behind. 

I had decided, when I was very young, 
that when I met that special someone,
I would be cautious.
I would be the one who was less in LOVE.
The strong one. The independent one.
The one who could walk away, if need be. 

I entered into my marriage with these notions 
tucked way back in my head, 
a shield, a defense...just in case. 
Just in case LOVE hurt.

But something happened, 
I fell in LOVE,  
I fell hard, head over heels hard.
The kind that hurts. The kind that makes me crazy,
but also the kind of LOVE 
that I didn't imagine for myself.

As our 24th wedding anniversary draws near, 
coming up in August, 
I realize that, maybe, real LOVE is so much deeper than I thought
and much more wonderful than I'd ever hoped for.

Maybe LOVE is not just the fairy tale, the romance, 
the picture perfect photo, the date nights and hand holding, 
the maybe it will work out, maybe it won't. 

Maybe, LOVE is learning what your partner's needs are, not just thinking you know; 
maybe LOVE is holding your loved one up when life gets to be too much to handle;
maybe LOVE is listening, even if you've heard the same thing over and over again;
maybe LOVE is sharing, your hopes, your fears, your dreams, your challenges;
maybe LOVE is not taking each other for granted, ever;
maybe LOVE is knowing I can stand alone, but will never choose to;
maybe LOVE is still looking forward all day to him coming home;
maybe LOVE is still being so excited when he texts or calls me;
maybe LOVE grows more passionate with each day;
maybe LOVE isn't conditional;
maybe LOVE is growing old together;
maybe LOVE is worth fighting for; 
maybe LOVE does last a lifetime;
maybe LOVE is everything I was afraid to dream of, 
maybe LOVE really is forever.
maybe LOVE is happily ever after.
I'd like to think so.