Friday, December 7, 2012

can't believe we are nearing the end of another year...and soon it will be 2013.  
this past year has been a year of many changes and lots of learning.

on the home front, 
my children needed me more than ever, and, 
while they are teenagers, their life choices and challenges, 
required me to be fully present in their lives. 
not that it hasn't always been that way, but as they grow, 
you think, maybe, that will ease up and the need won't be as great, 
but, i find it is even more so.

so this past year was about juggling. 
somethings came into view in a huge way
{like a family trip to maui we had been talking about for 15 years}, 
while other things deserved more attention than they received
{the growth of my business and creativity}
this coming year, hopefully, will be more about balance.

with respect to my children, that means, guiding them, but letting them make their own decisions, within reason. being a teenager, i think, is a very tough time of your life these days and being the parent of teenagers, is no where near as easy as i had imagined. i am totally grateful for them and can't imagine a life without them. they are my everything.

with respect to my family, my mom plays a huge role in my everyday. although, we don't see each other every day, maybe just a few times per month. we speak almost daily and i find myself regularly thinking about her well being. my nieces are also a huge part of my daily thoughts. thank goodness for Instagram. i feel connected to them in a small way each day, even though they are two hours away. their posts light up my day. i did see them more this past year. super happy about that and enjoyed the closeness my mom and i share. i can truly tell her anything.

with respect to my business, gratitude is the first thing that comes to my mind. while, i am always learning, i find that this past year has been one of finding my self in my craft. i truly love what i do and feel as if i am meant to create. it's what my gift is, so to speak. i wasn't near as creative as i needed to be this past year, more managing, not as much creating. 
my head is full of ideas to put in place for 2013. i'm looking forward to the adventure.

with respect to my spirituality, i feel strongly connected to my yoga practice, so much so that i seriously considered teacher training, but sidetracked it when other family matters surfaced that required my attention. i didn't practice as much as i planned to. it always seems to be the first thing to drop off the schedule when life gets crazy, which is funny, because that's exactly when i need it the most. i learned how to meditate this year, well in the last few months, by learned, i mean, i finally stopped making 'to do lists' while meditating and now, just gently bring my mind back to focusing on nothing. extremely hard for someone like me to do, but the reward is huge. again, someone like me is exactly the type of person who benefits from a still mind. i pray every day. God answers my prayers. this i know for sure. 

 with respect to aging gracefully, this year was a work in progress. i realized that i am in control of the thoughts i choose about myself and where i am. i'm not 'young' anymore. i still feel really young, but i am determined to love who i am and to share the idea that being older does not mean you are no longer beautiful. i love the way European women view aging and i have adopted their mindset [another challenge}, even though i live in Southern California, where being young and beautiful seems to be the ultimate goal for all. for me, being happy with myself, wrinkles and all, and spreading love is what makes me feel beautiful.

with respect to friends, unfortunately i didn't spend enough time with the friends that live close. but i made many new friendships via Instagram, that somehow fit in perfectly into my crazy, busy life. very grateful for them.

with respect to love, i am a lucky girl. i have so much love in my life. love from my animals, love from my children, love from my friends and family and an overall love surrounding my little world. 
i am grateful every day to be in a loving relationship, 
that gets better everyday, going on close to 25 years now.

so, i'm excited about 2013 and ever so grateful for the lessons learned in 2012.